It’s taken me 41 years but I’ve finally unlocked the code that so many before me have found to finding direction and magic and it all comes from the same place. There’s an inner compass locked deep within me. It was covered with lots of dust and debris but I was relentless in not just uncovering it but also learning to navigate my life with it.
My compass has been calling me to write for many years. I started the blog, Presently Enough, in the fall of 2019, but between a move and having 4 children home for 6 months and counting due to Covid19, my physical writing for that stopped. The posts never stopped coming to me. I “wrote” in my head all the time… in the shower, in the car, when I was out for a walk, but I just couldn’t find a way to get the thoughts onto paper while I was dripping in children. My soul kept guiding me to write but I just couldn’t find the time of solitude I needed to get those thoughts to paper… until now.
I decided I was tired of dreaming of writing and got to work to find a way to write. It’s currently 6:14 in my house. I’ve been up since 4:45am. I decided I was done making excuses and ready to start making progress. So here I am. Showing up to the calling within my soul. I’m answering yes to life and making myself available. I don’t know exactly where the writing will take me but that part doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m showing up.
So why didn’t I just continue with Presently Enough? I believe my ultimate message goes deeper than just about being present and learning that I’m enough. It’s been about 8 months since I wrote my last post on presently enough and when I thought about continuing with that blog, something didn’t sit right. That feeling, as gentle as it was, was the pull from my busoula. Being present and being enough were what I was working so deeply on when I started that blog and are still a huge part of my journey but I no longer fully resonate with those words.
That’s the wonderful thing about growing. We have the option to keep moving forward, keep re-evaluating and keep getting better. When I started writing again, I checked in with my busoula first and found that it wasn’t facing true north. So I adjusted and made a few changes.
When I went back and re-read my first post called “Following my inner compass” (even the title says it all!) from Presently Enough, you can see that my message was about more than just learning to be present and to be enough. I just couldn’t see the full depth of it at the time. I wrote the following:
I have an inner compass (I believe we all do) and I’m learning how to listen to it, use it and follow it. When I’m not following that compass, my life doesn’t feel full, it doesn’t feel complete, it feels like something is missing. When I start tuning into it, purpose and joy come back. It’s so incredibly simple and yet one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Because sometimes listening to that compass means we have to do things that seemed hard before or that society tells us will be hard or our friends and family warn us against. But the truth is, my life will feel complete and whole and purposeful when I go deep within and not just listen but also take action of what fills my soul.
Maybe I didn’t have better words then. I sat down with an open google browser and my creativity and went to work to find the right words. As you can see from that first post on Presently Enough, it’s always been about some kind of inner compass. Looking back on my life, the compass has shown up for me in so many places. It was a team logo, I bought not one but 2 compasses on a trip to London a few years ago, I even have a compass bracelet that I wear almost daily.
Sometimes we look and look for our purpose and there it was, siting right in front of our faces the entire time. We were just too busy looking beyond ourselves to find it. Too busy trying to find it somewhere outside when all we had to do was sit in stillness to find it.
In the search for better words for the blog, a quick google search gave me a long list of the word compass in other languages. When I first saw the Italian translation of bussola, my heart skipped a beat (you can hear how it is pronounced here). I swoon. Listening to the Italian language brings upon deep feelings in my soul. I feel it in my whole body. Everything about this word ‘felt’ right. It didn’t take long to see that by adding one simple letter ‘u’ you could magically insert the word ‘soul’ to make it busoula. Yes, yes, I know, I also dropped an ‘s’ because, why not? Visually, it felt like the extra ‘s’ took away from the word soul. When you make up words, you can do whatever you want.
In my first post (see here), I stated this as the definition of busoula:
In the simplest terms, your Busoula is the compass of your soul. It comes through you, not from you. It is that invisible guiding force within each individual that when followed, uncovered and cultivated, leads them to a life filled with authenticity, purpose, love, compassion, passion and joy. It’s that inner yearning to make a difference in the world. Its our inner lights guiding the way. It’s a combination of our intuition, our gifts and our purpose. It helps you to uncover the truth of who we are, the gifts that we’ve been given and utilize those gifts for the betterment of humanity. When following the Busoula, the individual feels fully connected with their higher self and navigates life with a sense of direction and guidance. You cannot create it, you can only allow it. It’s the compass of your soul and whatever direction your North points to, is completely individual to you.
Some could look at the closing of presently enough as a failure. I choose to see it as a launching point. I may have only written 6 posts but I learned so much from those posts. It helped me get so clear on what my message is. I took a chance and just started writing. I didn’t wait for everything to be perfect before I did. I’m so thankful for what I created and what I learned with that little blog.
When I connected to my Busoula to start writing again, I knew I had to adjust course. And I feel so much more connected to the word ‘Busoula’ than I ever did with the words ‘presently enough’. Sure, the thinking mind would tell me that it doesn’t matter what the title is but magic doesn’t happen from thinking. Magic is a feeling, it’s an experience. Magic happens when we trust and just keep moving forward. When we venture into the unknown and transcend out of the comfort of knowing.
I’ve learned to trust in the unknown and am taking the next right step forward in the direction of my true North. Tomorrow may bring new obstacles, knowledge and awareness that leads me down another path or with the need to adjust course slightly. But for today, everything feels right and my Busoula is ultimately pointing towards my true North.
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