It’s been a long road…. 40 years and 162 days to be exact. And I’ve only just begun. All I can see ahead of me is more road, more forks, more hills, more valleys, more obstacles and more peaks. There’s no particular destination, just a journey with an endless number of decision points and endless number of intersections with others along the same journey.

What is this blog about, you might ask? That’s a great question because I’m still working on that. I’ve been thinking about it for a really long time and haven’t quite understood what my purpose in writing it was. Until this morning. And this is it, short, sweet and simple. You see that road can look scary, and treacherous and even dangerous. There are times when safety and security came in the form of putting my life on cruise control. I set a direction at some point in my life and then trusted that decision. But after 40 years and 162 days, I’m able to consciously say what I’ve been trying to say and learn for all this time. I have an inner compass (I believe we all do) and I’m learning how to listen to it, use it and follow it. When I’m not following that compass, my life doesn’t feel full, it doesn’t feel complete, it feels like something is missing. When I start tuning into it, purpose and joy come back. It’s so incredibly simple and yet one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Because sometimes listening to that compass means we have to do things that seemed hard before or that society tells us will be hard or our friends and family warn us against. But the truth is, my life will feel complete and whole and purposeful when I go deep within and not just listen but also take action of what fills my soul.

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My compass has been calling me to write for a really long time. The idea of starting a blog has been shushed, quieted inside me for years. I’m fairly certain I’ve screamed “would you please just shut up?’” more than once at that voice. Even when friends, colleagues, etc would say “you should start a blog”, I immediately rationalized all the reasons why I shouldn’t, including:

• Much of what I’ve learned, I’ve learned from other blogs, books, articles, etc
• I don’t have anything original to say
• Who would read it?
• The internet is a harsh place, I’m not sure I’m ready to put myself out there like that
• My “education” isn’t in anything related to what I’m called to write about
• I’m a terrible writer
• How can I put some of my deepest, darkest thoughts and fears out there for all the world to see and judge?
• I’ve been scared to death of what people will think of me if they really knew what was going on in my head
• Etc, etc, etc

But yet, that little voice inside kept calling. {Insert soft whisper “Jenn, Jenn, you can do it Jenn”}. The truth is, those fears are all still very real and very much there, but the difference now is that I’m not letting them stop me. I see my compass pointing in this direction and I’m willing to risk those fears to do it. You see that road is scary and in order to become who I was meant to be, I have to take risks. I have to put ourselves out there and see if it’s North for me.

If I had to summarize my journey to date, it would be something along the lines of this:

I’m a wife and mom of 4. I’m a forever student, I believe there’s always room for learning and growth. I’ve always felt like something was missing to the point where I couldn’t ignore it. The days were ticking on, many of which I spent stressed, overwhelmed, scared and often felt trapped. I’ve been a working mom and a stay at home mom. There were many times during both roles that I kept putting my needs on the back burner over and over again in order for the house not to implode. I may have saved the house but found myself imploding instead and when mama implodes, everyone implodes. I didn’t know what to do, where to turn or how to fix it. I believed that I was the way I was because of the things that happened to me. Somewhere along the way, I realized that ALL my demons were all in my head and within my control. I was and still am hooked.  I’ve spent the last few years spending every spare second reading books, reading blogs, meditating, working with coaches, attending workshops, exercising, doing Yoga, listening to podcasts, joining masterminds, and doing whatever would help me grow as a person. I am now proud to say that I am a recovering perfectionist, multi-tasker, over-thinker, worrier, mirror-hater, worst enemy, and victim. Every day, I work to take back the control I have of my thoughts and ultimately my life to live a more fulfilled, purposeful and peaceful life. I’m not ‘perfect’ in a Pinterest kind of way and never expect to be. I am, however, the most perfect Jennifer dePascale that there ever was. I am perfectly imperfect and I’ve come to love all those imperfections. I have worked hard to stay in the present (and when I don’t, have figured out how to get back to it as quickly as possible) and can finally look in the mirror and tell myself (on most days) that “I am enough”.  Hence, I am always working to stay “presently enough”.

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I’m sure my purpose here will evolve, grow and bloom just as we as humans do throughout our time here on earth. I may have to shift focus at some point to find North again. At this exact moment in time, I’m here to share my journey, past lessons and current ones too and only show you how I’m finding North for me and staying present and getting the most out of every moment possible. This is my journey and mine alone. Welcome to “Presently Enough” and I invite you to follow me on my journey.